Okay, Titanic...The Real Deal.Scuba Steve and the crew were from the land down under, when they submarined the shit out of the water. They were looking for a necklace, which is complete BS, because there is no way the cost of the necklace was more than the money they were putting in to finding it...just the opinion here. Do you agree?
Anyway, they found a nude painting of Rose who had no nipple because its TBS and she had the necklace on. Then they cut to a scene of a 90 year old woman, later found to be Rose, doing pottery.
Back from commericial break, and Rose wants to see her drawing. She is shutting her eyes and picturing Jack. Rose has just stated that she only wore the necklace once. "It was a heavy thing and I only wore it once." They recovered some stuff, including a mirror of Rose's, a betterfuly penant thing, annnnnnnd now she starts the story. They hit the iceberg on the side, and Rose is validating this theory of a guy that has long hair like Michael McDonald with a smiley face on his t shirt.
Its been 84 years. So I am starting to doubt this thing...so we are listening to a woman who is mostly senial. But heeeeeeeeere we go. May the juice sweeten your mouth.
Joyous, and loving. Everyone is excited as sendoff of the ship is currently going. People waving, children smiling, little did they know what would really occur. Rich bitches with big hats galore,as if we are at the Kentucky Derby, have gathered to see the biggest ship ever seen. Top Hats galore as well. Lets board the ship, shall we? Yes we shall. "Good day sir, good day."
"It was the ship of dreams to everyone else, but to me it was a slave ship, taking me back to America," said and unhappy Rose.
As the boys (jack and friends) play cards (crazy eights) and smoke cigarettes, they decide that someones life is about to change. Jack won. He is going to America, and will board the ship. Here we go. Still at this point, have no idea what the hell is going on with this movie, or why we cant scuba down. Just saying.
Jack so far, very polite, has 7 roommates, as if they are in a prison cell.
As they set up the ship with art, and roses (no pun intended...they really had flowers), the miserable man and Rose have gathered together in the room to argue, and drink scotch. As the sun sets, they have a beautiful image of the ship sailing. West off the coast of Ireland, the ship sailed into the sunny day. FULL SPEED AHEAD. Wheels churning, clocks moving, and they are firing coal into fire? What the hell? Coal runs a ship to keep the wheels churning? Does this really happen in real life? Like, when I took a ferry to Long Island, was someone underneath firing coal into a lava room to make us sail? I dont mean to quote Bernie, or Phil, or Jordan because I dont remember who said it, but "I doubt it."
Jack is watching dolphins in the ocean, however, they are going faster then a ship...which is also not believable. I could be wrong because I've never watched a dolphin swim, but seriously...this is ridiculous. Jack is on top of the bars at the front of the ship screaming, "I am King of the World." No Jack, you are not. You are just at the front of the ship on the railing. Trust me. You are not King of the World. According to Google and Wikipedia, the King of 1912 was King George V
(http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Who_was_the_king_in_1912).
Back to the movie, Bruce has thought of the name of the ship --- the Titantic. Bruce was then told me had a small peen. But he still has a sweet moustache.
Jack is now sketching people. As he is doing this, he sees Rose for the first time, and instantly falls in love. You can tell by the look in his eyes, he will fall in love and ship will sink. having never seen this movie before, or really understanding this...its my first thought. We will see what happens.
Rose is not happy with her life. She is full sprinting in a dress with heels, and there lies Jack. Rose blows by him as she cries, and Jack follows, cigarette in hand. She is at the front of the ship. So help me God...if she says "I am queen of the world" I am going to be angry. Because I'm sure there was a Queen Elizabeth around at this time. Rose is about to commit suicide. My palms are sweaty because I dotn like things like this. "Dont do it," states Jack. Rose and him are arguing. She tells him to stay back , but he doesnt listen. Jack wants her to get back on the ship. Rose yells back, that she will jump. Jack says he is involved and will jump in after her. Rose/Jack having a convo over whether she should kill herself now or not. They are talking about the water temperature. Jack is saying its too cold to kill yourself, so you wont. You wont do it. Challenging her, but at the same time, knowing shes a woman and wont do it. Rose stops crying, and gets back on the ship, per Jack's hand. OR NOT! HOLY CRAP! Rose almost dying. She is hanging on for dear life as she slipped over. Hanging on to a bar, I feel as if we are at the climax of this movie. But, we are not, as Jack saves her. Wow. Tense. Jack has a mushroom haircut, which was the key haircut in 8th grade.
Jack and Cal, the man Rose is about to marry, are arguing. Rose tells him the story that she was leaning over and Jack helped save her. Cal, not happy, cant blame him really because most women are lying cheaters who will screw you over in the matter of seconds, wraps Rose in a blanket and says lets go to bed, clearly wanting to shag. Cal, also hanging with the Monopoly guy, walks away. Jack bums a smoke of some English guy. Not sure what any of this has to do with why we cant scuba, but I guess we find out.
Rose, back oin the room, is given THE DIAMOND PENANT that Michael Moore look-alike was looking for in the beginning. Cal claims it was made by Louie the 16th.He puts it on her. It reminds me of a mix of blue balls and a pearl necklace, only heart shaped and not even close to either. I still think they make love tonight. Just a feeling I have. They dont show it, so we never find out. Only God knows now. Only God knows.
Next morning:
Jack walking on the top dck with Rose. He is wearing suspenders with Curtoroy Pants. Awful outfit really, but who am I to judge? Rose is frustrated with life still. Shes not even wearing the necklace. She thinks Jack is rude for some reason. They are shaking hands. She clearly wants to shake something else. Are you reading this still? If so, please write on my facebook wall this quote: "Matt I am still reading," and add your thoughts of the synopsis part 1. You ask why I put that here: Because its 12:00. 1 hour has gone by. Thank you.
Jack is showing her portraits of his drawings. First woman had hairy armpits. I just threw up in my mouth. So they can show pictures of a woman with hairy armpits, but not nipple? TBS should be ashamed of themselves. They also had one of a ONE LEGGED PROSTITUTE. Officially up there with one of my favorite movies of all time. Unreal. (chang just sneezed. I said God bless you. He said thank you).
Rich bitches and big hats drink tea and eat crumpets. Bruce aka the stache - is discussing the size of the titantic and the speed. He is big on making it known about how great this is, and it can go fast. Starting to feel like Bruce Stache has something to do with the iceberg hit. We will see.
Rose and Jack are clearly flirting at this point. Ship still sailing. I know this woman is like 98 at this point, but its amazing to me that she remembers THIS MUCH, and we believe it enough to write a movie and claim its off a true story. Jack is teaching Rose how to spit off the side of the ship. Cagno, immediately frustrated claims that you are supposed to teach your girlfriend how to swallow, not spit. I concur.
Rose had a mother on the ship. Not sure where she came from. She told her that Jack saved her life. Mother not impressed.
Slickbacked hair Jack, enters the dinner area, Looking for a date, to dance or neck with, he overlooks the scene of the ship from a balcony like view. He walks around, like he has swag, which will allow me to call him Jack Swagger for the rest of the synopsis. This is starting to look like the party that Ace Ventura was at when he was looking for Snowflake the Dolphin, minus the patte being passed around before his bathroom scene.
I'm finding it awkward that Cal(-Ifornia) is never with Rose. Cagno states he thinks Cal is looking for milfs because he is trying to embaress Jack. Not getting it, really. I'll hold off, Maybe I will. I think because hes not rich or something? We will find out soon. Arm and Arm, Jack Swagger and Rose Bush are going to dinner. Jack jokes, people laugh, me and Cagno do not.
Jack states that he is pretty much homeless, and figures lifes a gift that he doesnt waste. They toast: "To making it count" Jack passes a note..."meet me at the clock to suck my cock"...or somethign like that.
Playing Indian like music, with Irish step dancing, and big drums, Jack Swag is now dancing with a girl no older than 6. This guy really is out for anything. Hopefully he doesnt draw her nude. Even I have to draw the line somewhere. Jack invites Rose to dance, and grabs her lower back. He promises the 6 year old she is still his best girl. This guy should be in jail at this point. Jack Swag is tap dancing the HELL out of the floor. Apparantly this guy is not all artiste if you will. Rose says, screw this...dance off. 1912 style. Perfect reason for me to feel like this is the 98 year old woman making shit up.
Arm wrestling contest between two men. You know what bothers me about this stuff...just because they arm wrestle, they make their faces dirty. Like really? I dont get it.
This awful music is still on. Getting more Irish as we go. Donald Trump look alike has entered the scene. Music stops, moving on. Ship still floating, life is good.
Cal and Rose are drinking tea, and honestly...they dont get along. Really, its sickening. They dont even smile. I think shes fallen for Jack Swagger. Showing a bit of cleave, she tells him that she is his fiance, and CAL flippppppppppps out saying she shall honor him. Flips the table, breaks things, threatens her, annnnnnd off he goes. Clearly not an issue as people watch this. Apparantly this is legal in 1912 on ships. Rose immediately cries as he walks away and grips her left breast. The maid comes over and makes sures shes okay. Enter the mother again, as she helps tie Rose's dress again tighter from the back. Rose's mother, a true wench, is really talking down to Rose, acting as if she needs to marry Cal because he has money and its the only way of life. Its reminding me of Ashton Kutcher/Britney Murphy in the film, just married, when Brit's parents dont approve because her dad owns the Lakers and Dodgers and does some other rich guy stuff.
A lot of the random people have beards in this movie.
Apparantly we are in Church? Or something. Quire Class? I'm not sure. Wench and Rose are singing tunes, and Jack Swagger is trying to get in the room. He is getting bounced from there. Trump look alike tries to pay off Jack to get away. He gets escorted by 1st class people and is treated like a 3rd class citizen. He does have a bit extra swag at this point. Cal is going to get mad.
Boy with Yoyo.
Wench wearing a RIDICULOUS Derby cap, and Rose is wearing a butterfuly hair clip (which was given to her in the beginning scene as it was "discovered")
Jack and Rose need to talk. Rose tells him that she loves Cal. Jack says, whatever you are amazing and wonderful. True dbag move. I feel like I am Cal at this point getting fisted by the power of a person not in a relationship trying to steal your girl by saying how great she is and how lovable she is until she believes him. We will see what happens. Oh man, hes touching her face. Shes buying in. Really classy. This bothers me a lot. Like Peter stealing Britney Murphy in the movie Just Married. Can you tell I watched Just Married recently?
Ridiculous hat lunch with Rose and the fam. Rose, staring off into never-neverland is thinking about the Swag/Cal debacle. FINALLY they show the ship sailing. Of course Jack Swag, looking more like Jack Sad is at the Front of the railing. King Louie over here. AND ENTER ROSE. AND ENTER CELINE DION SONG. Rose is told to shut her eyes as Swag stands behind her telling her to trust him. Hes either going to slip it in or throw her off. Nope I was wrong. Instead he is lifting her on the railing and she is spreading her arms like Christ on the Cross. She claims shes flying. She is not flying. She is standing on a railing with her arms spread as Swag holds her. The sky is so pink, its not even a real sky. This movie is more bullshit at this point. I dont even believe the ships at the bottom of the ocean anymore. With My heart will go on background music going on, they smooch. Another cheating whore. She went from flying, to tongue kissing in the matter of seconds. Good luck flying and kissing at the asme time. Not that I've ever done it, but Good luck. Seriously, i dont think you can do it.
Back to 98 year old Rose...stating that is the last time the Titantic ever saw daylight.
Back to 1912, Rose and Swag are in a room talking about Monet and paintings. Fag Swag starts talking about Monet and his work and all the use of colors. I really dont like this scumbag. Hopefully he dies at the end by floating away into the ocean like a homo.
Rose Bush states that she wants to get drawn nude...apparantly this is okay in a woman's mind and not cheating because there is no physical contact. She gives him a dime. I'm pretty sure she is now a legal Prostitute. Off goes the dress, and here we go. OHHHH DADDYYYYYYYY, she has a nice rearend, with the cheeks spread wide, and the crack efficiently placed between the bottom of her spine and the tops of her cheeks. Swag has a huge boner, but will still attempt to draw her. Hes so gay, he is really drawing her. Any other straight guy would have his peen out, mushroom stamping her forehead, but he is focusing on her face. I'd at least draw two circles with a dot in the middle of each one. FINALLY he draws the breast. He isnt even smerking. If he bangs her later, it will be flacid frank and the Exhaling Princess Whore.
I dont like what they just did. They just went from a nude Rose, to a 98 year old hag in the shot of an eye. I feel sick right now. I feel like May Young just stripped nude and I saw her Puppies. Back to Rose...the pic is titled April 12, 1912. Rose then puts her clothes on and goes. Another sign that this guy is not straight.
Cal is talking to some men. He is angry. Cant find her.
Ship at night. Dark. Captain says clear. Rose is not there. Not sure hwo she can tell the story when she is nowhere in site of the captain. More BS. This guy is drinking tea with a lemon. Note that. Because of they hit an iceberg or something...it could be his fault. Trump knocks on the door, Rose hides Swag. Ridiculous. I hope Cal gives him a right cross. They are running from Trump. And here we go. Running from people on the cruise ship is the first sign of a cheating woman. Just like they say, you can never trust a woman, especially with red hair. Shes a dirty Ginger. Ridiculously lying, they are now in some loud room with pipes. All of a sudden they are down with the coal miners and fire pits. They are running through this and enter a steamy room. I have a feeling its about to get a lot more steemy. Well if this guy wasn't gay anyway.
They find a car, with a backseat and glass. Swag opens the door, looking much more straight and interested. Rose gets in the back. Swag sits in the front and pretends hes driving. Rose overpowers him and brings him to the back. I officially hate all women. This movie is not romantic sinking, its about a cheating woman who sinks the ship because of her terrible soul. God crashed this for a reason...of course I bet she lives in the end and he dies. Just the way the world works. They are necking..heavy necking in the back. TBS realizes its TBS and even tho its 12:58 AM, cuts to another scene.
All the sailors and stuff are talking.
Back to the steamy window scene. BAM, there it is. The handprint of awfulness. I have had a lot of sex in my life. Seriously. A good amount for a 25 year old. I have NEVER been this sweaty. She looks like she just got out of the ocean, and he looks as if he was fisted by a gorilla and he is panting like a dog who chased a tennis ball around for 9 straight hours. He lies on her breasts and life is good again. Cant blame him at this point, but hes still a scumbag.
Cal is fully dressed while his fiance is nude in the back of 1912 mitsubishi fuck mobile. Classy. I am going to state that they sunk the ship toegether.
Back to Swag and Rose, frowlicking on the deck. Rose is done with Cal, she tells Swag when the ship docks shes getting off with him, kinda like a gf telling you that she is going to let a kid she has seen twice in 8 years move up to mass from florida with her.
And there it is. "WAKE UP U BASTARDS." ohhh boy. "Iceberg right ahead! ICEBERG RIGHT AHEAD!" Holy Christ. Spin the wheel Pat Sayjack. Get that ish turned or we are going to have a disaster. Start throwing that coal into the fire pit, and spin those wheels. Turn baby turn. This guy spinning the wheel is working 9 times as hard as swag when he was pounding Rose, but is not sweating a drip. Figure it out...really. Go ahead.
As the iceberg nears, the ship is starting to turn left, very close. OH SHIT. IT Hits the side. Mid-kiss, the cheating Rose and Sawg know somethings wrong immediately. People are waking up from sleep. Water is shooting everywhere, and this was a backshadow of Rose in the 1912 mitsubishi as her vulva was expanded by Swag. The Ships side is taken off, and Water is POURING IN. Fire alarms going off, people are swimming as they try to get away. Water crashing in, people yelling, men are grabbing on to anything they can for survival. Other parts of the ship are unaffected at this time. Not everyone knows...disaster is about to strike. More guys with beards talking about life. The bottom scene where the water is pouring in reminds me of Drop Dead Fred when Fred steals the motorhome and plays pirates. Rats are rasing. Ratatouille is in the lead, with Mickey approaching fast. It was a quick scene, but Fival went West and crossed the finish line first.
Jack Swag and Rose enter back to the room holding hands. They are about to tell Cal they F'd and they are together. At least she didnt do this at 830 AM at work. just saying. Cal should throw him off the boat. Instead, Cal tries to set up Jack. I like his style, but he shouldnt do this. Seriously, no need to do this. Shes a jerk and he can do better. Just noticed...Cal definitely gets his eyebrows done. Jack apparantly is getting arrested.
Break out the blueprints. Not sure what they are going to do at this point. But they are breaking out blueprints. Stache Bruce is back! Good to see him. I knew he was going to have a big role in the crash. I have to pee, but cant move for another two hours. Yikes. They know the ship is going to sink. The captain asks how much time. He says an hour or two at MOST. Captain, says "2,200 souls on board sir."
Back to Rose who has sex hair, and Cal SLAPS her in the face, and grabs her arms. A man enters the room and tells them to put on life jackets because they are going to probably die soon. Not really though, he said its probably precaution...little does he know though. The captain is upset they are going down. Mark Ruane is somewhere about to cry and claim popcorn is in his high. And now they are showing the water pouring in again. This is a real process. I never thought it would take 2 hours for a ship to sink. But heres how, I guess...
People working hard to keep the ship afloat. Meanwhile, inside, violins are playing and there is apparantly the prom of 1912 going on....only people are wearing life vests. Chang is headed to sleep. Nothing to do with the movie, but Mother Wench is back in the room, and doesnt care where her daughter is...just wants to make sure shes okay. Rose asks if they hit an iceberg, and random guy says yes, and the ship will sink in an hour or so. She looks worried. Cal, is shocked. They are not allowed to tell anyone, but he says you'll be at the bottom of the Atlantic. Jack Swag is handcuffed to a pole. I think he belongs there, but thats just my call. Captain is around as if hes got all day to keep this ship from sinking. He knows its an hour and done. They are currently preparing to throw small boats into the ocean. I would assume this is to save people.
Only women and children are allowed to board the small boats. Men cannot live. I agree with children but why be sexist? Especially in 1912 when women were worth the same as pennies. Rose, are you telling the truth? I'm sorry for being a doubting Thomas, but its just where my feelings are right now. They have put them in the small boat, and they are lowering the people to the best of their abilities. They are shooting fireworks into the sky. Apparantly its not April 12th and is now the 4th of July. They did this to send a signal I would assume.
They cut to Swag who is still handcuffed to a pole and looking out a small window which shows water at his eye level outside the window. He immediately gets punched in the face and has no defense. That must stink.
Fat Lady giving orders. I can tell you right now, I havent liked her all movie, so I didnt write about her. I think shes the Aunt of Rose. Wench tells Rose to get on the boat, and rose refuses because shes going to go with Swag. Mother shows emotion by telling her to get on the damn boat. She walks away. Cal grabs her and says youre going to a hood rat. She says, "I'd rather be his whore, than your wife." Wow. I mean, FINALLY some honesty here. Well Rose, you have done that. You are his whore. Thats for sure. A whore for sure. And Rose is now looking for Swag. She is informed that hes on the bottom deck, then take a left, a right, a right, a right, a left, a left, a right, a left, and something to do with a coridor. She of course will find him because thats the way movies work, and the 98 year old senial Rose probably had to go down one flight of stairs and to the left to find him.
Taking the elevator down, Water crashes in. they get off. Rose is knee high in water as it continues to poor in. The Drama is rising, and Swag is still handcuffed. He is also knee deep. Rose starts yelling for Jack, and finds him. Apologizes and makes out with him. Jack tells her where the key is...of course there are 292,484 keys in there, but of course she'll find it. Swag tells her to go get help and he'll wait there. No shit shirlock, because ur handcuffed to a damn pole. Rose is now somehow out of water on the same floor but is looking for help.
Power goes out. Oh sweet sassy molassy. Heavy panting from Rose. Oh lights back on. How fitting. Rose punches some guy in the nose because he is trying to save himself. God forbid apparantly you try to run like hell and get away. Rose finds a random ax. Really, an ax? She enters downstairs and will have to swim to find Swag. She can barely enter the floor because the water is so high. Drama anyone? She is going to hammer the handcuffs off.
Swag trusts her to do this. How could you trust this cheating woman to do anything. Really. I just dont know. Of course, one swing and hes loose.
Fireworks are off. The backend of the ship is in the water. The front is airborn. People are filing onto the boats. Families are separated. Sad times at this. Cal is extremely frustrated looking for his woman. I really dont know why. I'd jump on a boat and peace her out. Actually I wouldnt. Who am I kidding?
Men are rushing trying to get on, and now....fist fights. Why are their fist fights? You are all about to die seriously, and fist fights. Guns being pulled and more axes. Wow. 1912 was crazy. Jack Swag apparantly knows all the back end stairwells. He is attempting to break through the gate. with a bench he ripped off the wall. Mission accomplished. Anddddd here we go. People are jumping. Little do they know its only 1:48 and they wont officially sink til about 2:53.Cops are pulling guns at the top, and I am not sure why. Apparantly trying to save yourself is not okay. This is so frigan confusing. Boats are lowering, and ropes are being cut. FIRE! Guns gone wild. Rose and Swag have got to the top deck, but the boats are sailing away. Keep playing that violin young chap. Some Orpheus is chosen for the next song.
"WOMEN AND CHILDREN ONLY," we are scolded. I have to wonder what is going on in Cal's head. Cal is told that Swag and Rose are looking for a boat on the other side of the ship. He has an oppurtunity to get on a boat, and he passes. Amazing act of courage. Just get on the boat man. Its bad enough. Dont do this to yourself.
The 6 year old that Swag said was his favorite girl has been placed on the boat with her ragaty anne doll. Rose GET ON THE BOAT. Cal comes over. Pushes Jack. He puts his coat on her, and Jack comes in and Cal acts like they are teammates. They both tell Rose to get on board. She gets on. Swag and Cal are talking about who is the better liar. Rose, confused and upset, looks frantically towards Jack as if she will never see his baby bottom face again. Cal looks at her like he hopes she freezes to death. Enter Celine music again. Rose says F this. Jumps out of the boat and back to the ship. She cannot live without Jack the Survivor who wont survive later. I'm not sure I can watch great films like Catch Me if You Can, Gang's of New York, The Beach or Don's Plum. Cal now has a gun and tires to shoot Rose or Jack. Poor guy is heartbroken but really...what is shooting them going to do for you? You are all going to die on the boat, and this is the worst thing ever.
Cal just realized he put a diamond in his coat pocket...but he put the coat on her. AWFUL. Swag and Rose find a young child crying and they are going to help him out. They get him, two seconds later, his father realizes he has a child, finds him and well they are found. Water bursts through the walls and I feel like Y2J's music should be playing. BREAK THE WALLLLLLLS DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!
Unfortunately Rose is wearing too many colors to be see through at this point. Though they have swam to safety and trapped by the gate. Someone unlocks them....Why are the gates locked? Seriously, is there really even a ship? Its just foolish how made up all this is. I hate to disrespect the real victims of this, but can we think for a second...are we really going to listen to a 98 year old woman tell us she was a complete whore and a liar, and we shall believe anything she states about this event?
Anyway, keys are dropped they are underwater for 7-8 minutes searching for the key. Of course they find it. I mean, why wouldnt they. Back to the top they go. A boat just fell on people, water is rising, my hands are on fire from typing and Cal has finally decided that his life is more important to himself then anything else. I think.
People are now swinging from ropes into the ocean. Must be cold. This really stinks. Cal tries to offer money to get on a boat. He gets that thrown at him. A man is literally shot for trying to get on the boat. Thaaaaaaaaaaats real nice. One guy with a gun, 293,484 people trying to get on...yet they all listen. Its like a cop on the side of a highway and EVERYONE decides they need to go down slow.
Back to the movie, boats keep falling on people. Its a bit nutty. Children are crying. Cal is a father figure to him.
Rose and Swag are running through the boat.
The captain is offered a life vest, and he refuses. He says, you know what, if this ish goes down, then I will not abandon. He shuts the door and goes in. He is sinking with the ship. The violin players hug and go their separate ways. Might as well play Con Te Patiro at this point. Now that I think of it, how the hell are they playing My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion in 1912?
Thereeeeeeeeee they are. The old couple on the bed. Ruane...needs...tissues. Woman praying with her children as they sleep. This is starting to get depressing. Seriously. I feel bad. Violin guy jamming out, boat is 87.57% in the water. I've learned nothing about water pressure being too strong to pick the boat up.
People are hanging on to ropes, pianos, tables, other human beings, anything to stay alive at this point. We need Jim Ross to comentate this movie at this point. Because the water just crashed in through the windows where the captain is located. Can you picture it? "GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY, THE WATER HAS BROKEN IN, AND ITS KILLED HIM. THE SHIP IS FULL OF CARNAGE."
Cagno points out that the music has changed from we are about to die, to action...save ur life.
Rose and Swag, welcome back. After all you are the focal point. HUGE BEAM FALLS ON hundreds. Good luck. That has to be one of the worst ways to go. Smashed Skull by a HUGE beam. Actually this whole thing...has to be the worst way to die.
Inside of the ship is completely destroyed. People are running to the top to stay dry. Others said, F it, and are jumping. Hail Mary is being said. Swag pulling Rose to the top, climbs over the railing and brings Rose with him. He thinks this is the Pirate Ship at Canobee Lake. Let me tell you, its not.
Rose: "Jack this is where we first met." Yes, Rose and thats probably where you will last see him.
Floating bodies int he water, and plates smashing. Man falls off and drills the propella. That one has GOT to hurt. Guy takes out a flask. Debating jumping.
Power is now gone from the boat. I wonder if it'll go back on. Boat is about to split in half as it sinks. I no longer think the power will go back on. Apparantly these two are wearing seatbelts bc they have the strength to hold on and watch the ride, while everyone falls to their death. For the love of God.
Wait for it...Wait for it......
The Titanic has officially sunk. Now, as a boat is sinking you would think this would cause people to go to the bottom. Nope. These two stay afloat. I guess because of the life jacket, but thats some mean pressure to deal with.
Entering the last half hour...Also known as the Final Chapter... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oOvTzMktMfE
Rose swimming frantically looking for swag. Cant find him as another man tries to hang on to her for dear life. Swag out of nowhere, punches the dude in the face. This guy really is a hero among us. Call the Celtics. Halftime will never be the same.
They found a side of the boat or a door or something. Rose gets on. Swag stays in the water, to let half his bottom freeze. This guy is blowing his whistle and immediately makes me think of Blow my Whistle B*tch. People screaming looking for boats. Leader of the boat says, we cannot go back we will get swarmed by the people in the ocean. We will not survive.
Its getting quiet, Rose points out. That usually happens when people die in the ocean. Swag is shivering so bad he is not understandable. Not sure if thats a word. They both claim to love eachother, tho knowing eachother for about 48 hours. Then again, they already have more memories in two days then me and some of my ex gfs. Swag gives her confidence shes not going to die.
This is one of the worst conversations of all time. Never let go, ever. Eventually you have to let go...whether you die or live. You cannot go through life holding someones hand forever. You wont get a job.
One boat went back looking for survivors. Rose seems to be the only one. As they float through dead frozen people, I am creeped out. I hope that woman they just showed was a blow up doll because that was really disgusting and freaky. I dont ever want to go this way. Seriously. Rose is sleeping on the door, Jack is dead but holding her hand. Rose is singing, and her hair is frozen. This is really disturbing. She just found out Jack is dead. The boat is going by and she is trying to get them to track them down. After stating Jack at least 348 times, seriously, she finally accepts that he is dead. Sad moment. I wish she said Jack like 3 or 4 times though. Rose decides now the boat has gone by shes going to yell to the boat. She then says i'll never let go, and immediately drops him to drown into the ocean. She gets a magic whistle from the castle in World 1 in Mario 3.
They cut to 98 year old Rose. Shes giving statistical data on how many people died and all that stuff. Only 1 boat came back. the crowd is in tears. The more I think of it, Vince McMahon should run the World. Imagine that? Really. You wouldnt know WHAT to believe.
BRUCE STACHE HAS LIVED! Not sure how Rose has a warm dry blanket, but they cut to the next morning and they get on another boat.
On the other boat, Rose sees Cal, but lets him go. She informs others that he got married. Cal looking for his diamond walks away, sadly. He killed himself in 1929. Now its raining, and they are standing outside. I think I'd go inside, really. At this point. Rose claims her last name is Dawson, which was Jack's last name. Jack passed, and Rose said she hadn't spoken about Swag since he died. Jack saved Rose in every way that a person can be saved. She doesnt even have a picture of him, and he is just in her memory. Old Rose is on a boat and at the front of the railing standing up. Clearly not safe for her at this point. she has the Necklace in hand, and decides to release it and set it free into the ocean. Should have had Rod Stewart end this one with FOREVER YOUNG. Instead, they show a bunch of pictures of her trying to be Marilyn Monroe, and again...My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion. Dead or Dreaming, she sees Swag again, and shes young. Its the only way to go. They kiss, people clap, Well, everyone except Cal. I'm officially crazy after this last 4 hours and refuse to go to sleep until I watch this again, and rewrite my feelings.
I dont know or understand why you cannot see the titantic today. I get it. Its underground. Far underground. But we should at this point be able to pick the boat up and see some stuff. Afterall, we have HDTV, Lazer surgeries, and Snuggies. Moral of this story: Your best chance of surviving the Titanic was if you had money.
Goodnight Moon.
Love,
Matt
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